That's right, 50 years ago this week (roughly) the character of Peter Parker/Spider-Man was first shown swinging through the pages of Amazing Fantasy #15.
Now, as my favorite comic book character, as well as the first comic book I ever picked up, Spider-Man holds a very dear place in my heart. This anniversary marks a huge a milestone not only for Spidey, but also Marvel and the comic industry as a whole. It is truly a feat that a character of such humble origins, the epitome of the "every man", can still be thriving after all these years.
So, after five decades of stories, you would think that Peter Parker would get a pretty fantastic anniversary issue, right? Yeah, so did I.
The problem is, at the moment the man behind the wheel of the Spider-Man vehicle is Dan Slott, a writer that I have never been too fond of. If you ask comic fans about Slott you will get several different answers from him being the greatest Spider-Man writer ever to being a complete hack that shouldn't be allowed in the Marvel offices. I tend to fall somewhere in the middle, finding Slott's work to be entirely inconsistent. He can move from issues that are grossly campy and ridiculous to stories that take themselves far far too seriously. His dialogue is amateur, for the most part, and his contribution to the Spider-Man mythos over the last five years is arguably very minimal. For someone coming off of J. Michael Straczynski's monumental run, he in no way stacks up.
Now that isn't saying that Slott doesn't have any winners (The Grim Hunt), or that some of his creations (Carlie Cooper, Mr. Negative) aren't great additions to the Spider-Man saga, but overall I have never found him a great fit for Spider-Man. He has just never been able to find the balance between real life joy and the dark sadness that often overwhelms the character and his world.
Whoo, ok, I'm glad I got that out of my system.
So, now I am going to start talking about this particular issue pretty negatively, but before I do I want to remind you that I still want you to buy it. It's the anniversary issue, and the extra stories not written by Slott are actually pretty entertaining. So just buy it, ok? Thanks.
Ok, first off, this is barely a Spider-Man story, but instead one more focused on the new character, Alpha. So right off the bat it's a bit of a slap in the face. I want more Spider-Man in this Spider-Man's-Been-On-the-Freaking-Shelves-for-50-Years book. It's like if you went to a guys birthday party and he just played with his dog in the backyard the whole time. Like, why'd you even go, huh?
Apparently Slott wanted to give Spider-Man a sidekick so badly that he went ahead and shoehorned a terrible origin story within this issue. To shorthand it, it's totally Peter Parkers fault. Somehow, due to a particle that Peter magically discovers at Horizon Labs between the last two issues, some irritating kid gets like all the best super powers ever. It's seriously like presto-chango and the kid is lifting trucks over his head and flying. Haven't we learned that that doesn't work anymore? Sure, in the 60's giving characters super powers was something you got out of the way quickly so you could get to the action, but now, as readers have matured, we want to see the real consequences of power. If is was that easy, Mr. Slott, then everyone would have them.
In fact, Dan Slott just loves giving away super powers. During his ridiculous Spider-Island crossover literally all of New York City was crawling up walls and trowing punches. By making the process too easy you lose the uniqueness and believability of these characters.
Ok, fine, whatever, we got Alpha the fucking kid wonder in the story now. I'll just have to move on and deal with it.
So that's about the whole main issue. Spider-Man tries to take Alpha under his wing because, I don't know, he feels bad about making the kid awesome or something. Then he does a pretty terrible job at keeping the kid on a leash, which leads to no one learning anything. The issue is neither very funny nor emotionally resonating and it isn't hard to see that this was basically an excuse to introduce Alpha for one reason or another.
The art by Humberto Ramos is as good and clean as ever, but I've also just never been a fan of him as a Spider-Man artist. I think the man is talented, but his tell-tale caricatured lines just have no place in a Spider-Man comic book. I've said this before, but Peter Parker in the everyman. He, out of all the heroes of the Marvel Universe, is the one that is constantly the most relatable and down to earth. Why then, must we have both a writer that can't keep the character in a believable scenario for two seconds, and an artist who's style is incredibly cartoony and over the top?
Well, at least we get some beautiful variant covers that showcase the highlights from Spider-Mans five decades of print.
The other two stories in this over-sized issue, written by Dean Haspiel and Joshua Hale Fialkov, are cute and plucky and both end nicely, but ultimately don't really carry any real weight. The Fialkov story in particular may have you d'ahh-ing, but once you have closed the issue you will probably find yourself forgetting them pretty quickly.
So, still go buy it. It's something that, as a product, is just neat to own. Plus, you are going to want to know about Alpha as Slott rolls into issue #700 this December.
Let's just hope the rumors are true and Slott will be stepping down as writer after the New Year.
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