Have You Ever Wanted to See Your Favorite Characters Dance? Who Hasn't?

Jesse Lonergan is a comic book writer and artist working straight out of Somerville, Mass. Recently, I interviewed him for a piece I'm working on about local Boston artists, and it went swimmingly. He was super welcoming and even allowed me to conduct the interview from his studio, which no other artist yet had allowed.

During the interview I noticed, from the corner of my eye, a brightly illustrated collection of Spider-Man characters. Because I can't help myself when it comes to Spidey, I asked him if I could take a look. He kind of chuckled and grabbed the poster they were drawn on. "They are for my blog, Dancer a Day," he said and he floated it in front of my eyes.

What I saw, without exaggeration, was glorious. It was Spider-man, Hobgoblin, Doctor Octopus, and various other Spidey characters all drawn-- DANCING. Yes, dancing. Gettin' their groove on. Cuttin' a rug. It was too much for my weak constitution to handle. In fear of nerding out all over him I politely thanked him for showing me and tried with desperation to shield my eyes from its greatness.

When I arrived back home, after what I must say was a very successful interview, I was struck down by the realization that he said it was for his blog. TO THE INTERNET!

To say the least, Mr. Lonergan's tumblr is quite a sight to see. It is pages and pages of your favorite fictional characters bringing the funk it. Plus, they are all captioned so perfectly that I could just die on the floor in pure glee. Jesse, are you reading my diary. This is exactly what I wished for.

So, if you can't tell, I think this blog is great. You should check it out here. Also, you should check out some of Lonergan's other work like Flowers & Fade and Joe & Azat. Plus, if you live in Boston and like comics, you should be picking up local artists anyway. You can use Amazon, but I suggest tracking down copies at local shops.

So if I still haven't persuaded you to check it out, here are some of my faves...

The Ultimate "Charlie's Angels" Drinking Game!!!

In preparation for the third semi-annual "Charlie's Angels Movie Viewing Night of Merriment", I have compiled the ultimate list of rules for any good Charlie's Angels viewing party. Some of these were pulled from other noble soldiers who dared drink to this game, and some are my own, but all must be followed. We need to give these Angels the proper respect, now don't we.

So drink merrily, and be forever kick-ass.

Drink a Sip Every Time...

-The Angels change costume.

-The camera goes into "bullet time" or speeds up

-The Angels are naked

-There is a lesbian subtext

-Something happens that is really just technological nonsense, or the Angels know random science facts.

-The Angels utilize their "sex appeal."

-The Angels are in disguise

-Natalie dances

-Natalie and Pete flirt

-Charlie's voice is heard

-Anytime the “Creepy thin man” shows up.

-Anytime Alex is bad at cooking and/or is awkward. 

-All three Angels are sitting on the same couch.

Take a Shot Ever Time...

-The "real" bad guy is revealed.

THESE RULES ALSO APPLY FOR THE AMAZING SEQUEL, CHARLIE'S ANGELS: FULL THROTTLE!!!

Good luck Angels...

Movie Review: Pitch Perfect

Alright, before I get this review rolling, I have a confession to make: I'm in an a cappella group.

Yeah, that's right. And we're called Acappellics Anonymous. Get over it.

It isn't a huge secret or anything, but often when people learn this about me they kind of smirk and laugh a bit to themselves, then put on serious face as if they don't think it's rediculous. Well you know what? It is ridiculous. A cappella music, at its core, is silly, over the top, and just about the nerdiest thing someone can do, but I love it. You see, no matter how weird singing all a cappella arrangements to pop songs can be, it is still just one of the funnest things ever.

So when I heard that a movie was being made about collegiate a cappella groups, I just about died. During my college experience, being in an a cappella group has been one of my greatest experiences. I've made amazing friends, won some awesome competitions, and been able to sing my little heart out. My hopes were that this movie, in its infinite potential, would show just how great, albeit strange, a cappella can be.

With that in mind Pitch Perfect, from the opening scene, is very up front about what it is and what it is here to do. It isn't here to win any oscars, or even any grammy's,  but it is here to win a few hearts.

The story follows Becca (Anna Kendrick), a totally rad chick who wants to be a DJ and move to Los Angeles, not attend college like her dad wants. Upon her father's bargain to try out school for at least a year and become involved in an extracurricular activity, Becca begrudgingly auditions for the down-and-out Barden Bellas, an all female a cappella group that tragically lost last years nationals competition, along with most of its members. Along the way, the new batch of motley recruits must work together in order to get their act together in order to win the nationals a cappella competition. And, along the way, they may just learn a valuable lesson or two.

Ok, so sure, it has some pretty standard movie tropes. There's the underdogs, the distanced main character, and a plucky love interest that somehow puts up with all of Becca's bullshit. However, at the same time, the movie is constantly moving and somehow turning these tropes on their heads with clever jokes and physical humor. Like I said, it is completely and totally aware of just how silly a cappella competitions can be. Instead of taking themselves too seriously, they allow a large amount of room for a healthy dose of meta-humor and off the wall comedy. Sure, you probably will be able to guess most of what's going to happen, but you will have a hell of a time despite that.

"What, you mad?"

The cast also does a great job of striking just the right balance of puppy-like cuteness and raunchy sensibility. The lot of them are pretty damn funny and even allow to paint it on a little thick from time to time for effect. They are smart girls who are playing it smart. Too much in either direction would have been a mess, but because of their efforts the movie sticks comfortably between heart warming and bat-shit crazy. Also,  I dare anyone to look at Anna Kendrick's face and not fall in love with her. Double-dog-dare.

LOOK AT IT!!!

Rounding out the group we also have Brittany Snow (in the "what has she been doing?" category), Anna Camp, and Rebel Wilson. They nail their comedic timing, but also have surprisingly nice voices. Nothing that is going to blow you away, mind you, but completely cute and functional singing voices.

As adorable as Anna may always be perpetually and for all time, it is often Rebel Wilson who steals the show. Her off-color one liners will, in many scenes, be the saving grace that holds it all together. Now, while you are watching the movie you may not notice it, but afterwords you may realize her character, called "Fat" Amy, is less of a character and more of a gag machine. It doesn't make or break the movie, but it's still something that can feel a little disappointing.

In fact, my only real gripe with Pitch Perfect is how thin the characters can be at times. In order to get all of the chart topping numbers crammed into this little movie, most of the character development is kind of shaved down the bare minimum. Yet, the movie, in its ever wise understanding of movie pitfalls, calls to attention that some characters have "been there the whole time" even if the audience has never really noticed. It's pretty funny, and also refreshing in a world of movies that try desperately to hide these inevitable movie downsides.

So, yeah, Pitch Perfect isn't in fact perfect, but it gets pretty close. Take all of the film's high points and join it with some killer a cappella arrangements, and you have a movie that will have you smiling and cheering in spite of yourself.

Just make sure you are aca-prepared to have some fun.

How Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight Films are Weirdly Like The Simpsons Movie

Batmam and The Simpsons: two trademarks that are synonymous with America pop culture. For much of the 90's you couldn't walk town the street without catching a glance at a bright yellow bat symbol, or a t-shirt splattered with one of Bart Simpson's catchphrases. These two entities have finessed themselves into nearly every pocket of the media including comic books, television, and countless children's happy meal toys

However, the two entities could not be more different.

One tells the adventures of an orphaned billionaire who moonlights as a masked vigilante in the troubled and corrupt Gotham City, while the other follows the wacky hijinks of a dysfunctional middle class family in the small town of Springfield, Anywhere. See, different. Both awesome, but, you know, different.

In the mid-2000's both properties found themselves at the top of the box office charts. The Simpsons, after two decades on the air, had finally succeeded at the big-budget picture fan's had been looking forward to for years. Around the same time, Christopher Nolan was gaining praise for his realistic Batman film series starting with Batman Begins and concluding with The Dark Knight Rises just this past summer.

Weirdly enough, upon closer inspection, The Simpsons Movie as well The Dark Knight Trilogy, have some pretty striking similarities. "That's crazy," you say. "Nolan's realistic crime drama is nothing like Matt Groening's satirical animated family."

Well, guess what, they totally are. And here's why.



1) Russ Cargill from The Simpsons Movie and Ra's Al Ghul from The Dark Knight Trilogy are basically the same character.

Think about it. Both Cargill and Al Ghul are the head of an organization that most people don't know about. Ra's Al Ghul runs the League of Shadows, a group of assassins that work in secret to rid the world of evil, no matter the cost. Russ Cargill is the head of the Environmental Protection Agency, an agency that is slightly lack luster and has little pull with the government. In fact, even Cargill admits that the EPA is "the least successful government agency." For one reason of another the groups that these two men lead have their own level of anonymity. 

Also, both of these two men sought to abuse their power to destroy an entire city due to pollution. For Ra's Al Ghul it was the pollution of corruption, greed, and hate that seems to spew out of Gotham and into the world at large. His life's work was to rid the world of evil, so destroying Gotham and killing everyone that lives inside, to him, seemed the most effective way to wipe out this "evil". 

Ok, no one ever said he was an entirely rational man.

He is, however, still a BAMF.

Russ Cargill, on the other hand, planned to rid Springfield due to its pollution of...well, pollution. In The Simpsons Movie the town had become so overrun with garbage and filth due to the townspeoples' lovable ignorance that Cargill eventually decides just to completely destroy the town and its inhabitants, effectively cutting off the possible environmental impacts it may poison the world with.

In their spare time these two also run a youth "Give a Hoot, Don't Pollute" program, of EVIL.



2) Marge Simpson chooses the protection of her city over a long standing romantic relationship, much like Bruce Wayne.

Near the climax of The Simpsons Movie after the Simpsons have escaped an isolated Springfield and made a new life for themselves in Alaska, Marge suddenly learns that Cargill has planned to completely obliterate Springfield and all the inhabitants inside of it. When she decided to pull up stakes in order to go save her friends, she asks her husband, Homer (duh, you know who Marge Simpson is married to), to trust her in her decision. 

This moment mirrors Homer's plea to Marge earlier in the film to trust his outlandish decision to move the family all the way to Alaska while on the run from the EPA. Homer, in the moment, is not capable of the same understanding that Marge had earlier in the film and completely objects to the notion of leaving their comfortable new set-up. Hurt, Marge takes the kids and departs in the night to save her town, leaving Homer alone and heartbroken. To make him understand that this is the last shot she is giving her screw-up husband, she tapes the message over their wedding video.

Bruce Wayne has a similar connection to his city of Gotham. Throughout Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne and Rachel Dawes constantly struggle with their life-long romantic tension. Rachel totally has Wayne Fever, but she knows that their relationship would never work unless Bruce discarded the Batman persona in order to have a normal life with Rachel.

As you can probably guess, or if you aren't a space alien and have seen these movies, Bruce Wayne can't quite give up being Batman. For as much as he feels that Gotham must have the Batman to help it on its way to recovery and redemption, it is also a pivotal part of who he is. But Rachel, true to her word, chooses not to be with Bruce until the day he can finally give up his double life. Unfortunately, Bruce can't let that happen until Gotham has the hero it "needs", which is basically never since Gotham is always in need of saving and whatnot.

Things end up much better for Homer and Marge, who reconcile after Homer comes to save the day. Bruce and Rachel? Well, that relationship kind of blew up in smoke. (pause for laughter)



3) The EPA, as well as Bane, isolate a U.S. city from the rest of the world, preventing all movement in or out.

Sure, Russ Cargill used his influence with the EPA to put a giant, nearly unbreakable dome, over the city of Springfield while Bane isolated Gotham by blocking the tunnels and destroying the bridges into the island, but the theory of their actions remain the same. They locked everyone in and they blocked everyone out. becoming radical terrorists for the "good" of mankind. 

I mean, the trope of blocking off a city and holding the people prisoner is hardly a new concept. In fact, lets be real, it's one of the oldest war tactics there are, but the similarities between these two are striking. They are able to control and isolate a city not entirely with physical force or manpower, but by making it nearly impossible to to leave. 

The citizens of both cities are even teased by the diluting possibility of escape. Bane, in his nefarious hold on the city, leaves one bridge undestroyed. However, if one were to cross it, he would destroy the city even sooner than scheduled. Russ Cargill, after a time, leaves a small hole open at the tippy-top of the dome open for all to see. Several try to climb a rope and out to freedom, but no one is able to make it out.

Hmm, that also reminds me of another hole someone tried to climb out of once...

4) Once the city is blocked off, supporting characters lifted themselves up to self-elected positions of power.

Somehow, whether we cared or not, the character of Jonathan Crane (A.K.A. The Scarecrow) made it into every single one of Nolan's Batman movies. Sure, it gave the films a close-to-funny cameo in films that are almost completely devoid of humor, and also established even more continuity within itself, but for the most part, it was pretty unnecessary.

After Bane releases nearly every Gotham criminal out of prison near the end of The Dark Knight Rises, Dr. Crane quickly established himself as the Super Evil Judge of Everything. As silly as it may have been for the character to appear again, it did work well to demonstrate the ever deteriorating foundation of Gotham's judicial system while criminals merrily overran the city with their annoying after-prison potluck. Or, you know, whatever it is that they do.

To make things worse, Crane then begins issuing the choice of either exile or death to Gotham's elite and wealthy. The irony is, however, that both options ultimately end in death. Very clever, Mr. Scarecrow.

Well, it turns out that when cities get completely blocked off from the rest of civilization, only the mildly interesting people come out of the woodwork to take control. When Springfield was at it's lowest point it was Moe, the man who ran Springfield's worst bar, who ascended to power. When Marge asks Moe why he is dressed in an old bathrobe with a traffic cone on his head he replies, "Well, I don't like to brag, but I am now the Emperor of Springfield."

Above: The Second Worst Political Figure of 2007 *Ba-Dum-Bum*

5) A giant ticking bomb was the last resort to rid the world of these two cities.

Now, I have severe issues with the use of ticking bombs as a plot devise in almost any story. It's overused and honestly just a cheap way for the writers to build tension before a big finale. The fact that Nolan's subtle and beautiful Batman series ended with such an overdone and unrealistic scenario still pisses me off, but whatever. I'm not going to gripe about it. Much.

In The Dark Knight Rises it appears that Wayne Enterprises had apparently been building a big ol' fusion reactor underneath the harbor of the city. Of course, after you see it, you instantly know that Bane is going to march in there about an hour after it's introduced and demand that he turn it into a huge fucking bomb. Because, of course, it's always just that easy. Most multi-billion dollar government project meant to do the world good can instantly be made into a convenient weapon without, without any relation to the rest of the film's plot. 

Ok, sorry, I'll stop. Back on track.

When the ticking bomb is used in the The Simpsons Movie as a way for Russ Cargill to destroy evidence of his mad attack on Springfield, I can let it slide. The Simpsons, for the most part, is silly and satirical. He could have tried to overrun the city with rabid chinchillas and it would have worked, because it's The Simpsons, and being ridiculous is part of its charm. Also because chinchillas totally rule, and need to be in more movies. 

In the end, both Homer Simpson and Bruce Wayne risk their lives to carry the bomb far outside the city limits and away from the blast radius. Somehow, along the way, the also work on their daddy issues 
that have been causing their severe and total disfunction for their entire lives.

Above: Daddy issues.

Nerd Rant: Why The Amazing Spider-Man's 50th Anniversary Was So Disappointing

This week Spidey turns 50.

That's right, 50 years ago this week (roughly) the character of Peter Parker/Spider-Man was first shown swinging through the pages of Amazing Fantasy #15.

Now, as my favorite comic book character, as well as the first comic book I ever picked up, Spider-Man holds a very dear place in my heart. This anniversary marks a huge a milestone not only for Spidey, but also Marvel and the comic industry as a whole. It is truly a feat that a character of such humble origins, the epitome of the "every man", can still be thriving after all these years.

So, after five decades of stories, you would think that Peter Parker would get a pretty fantastic anniversary issue, right? Yeah, so did I.

The problem is, at the moment the man behind the wheel of the Spider-Man vehicle is Dan Slott, a writer that I have never been too fond of. If you ask comic fans about Slott you will get several different answers from him being the greatest Spider-Man writer ever to being a complete hack that shouldn't be allowed in the Marvel offices. I tend to fall somewhere in the middle, finding Slott's work to be entirely inconsistent. He can move from issues that are grossly campy and ridiculous to stories that take themselves far far too seriously. His dialogue is amateur, for the most part, and his contribution to the Spider-Man mythos over the last five years is arguably very minimal. For someone coming off of J. Michael Straczynski's monumental run, he in no way stacks up.

Now that isn't saying that Slott doesn't have any winners (The Grim Hunt), or that some of his creations (Carlie Cooper, Mr. Negative) aren't great additions to the Spider-Man saga, but overall I have never found him a great fit for Spider-Man. He has just never been able to find the balance between real life joy and the dark sadness that often overwhelms the character and his world.

Whoo, ok, I'm glad I got that out of my system.

So, now I am going to start talking about this particular issue pretty negatively, but before I do I want to remind you that I still want you to buy it. It's the anniversary issue, and the extra stories not written by Slott are actually pretty entertaining. So just buy it, ok?  Thanks.

Ok, first off, this is barely a Spider-Man story, but instead one more focused on the new character, Alpha. So right off the bat it's a bit of a slap in the face. I want more Spider-Man in this Spider-Man's-Been-On-the-Freaking-Shelves-for-50-Years book. It's like if you went to a guys birthday party and he just played with his dog in the backyard the whole time. Like, why'd you even go, huh?

Apparently Slott wanted to give Spider-Man a sidekick so badly that he went ahead and shoehorned a terrible origin story within this issue. To shorthand it, it's totally Peter Parkers fault. Somehow, due to a particle that Peter magically discovers at Horizon Labs between the last two issues, some irritating kid gets like all the best super powers ever. It's seriously like presto-chango and the kid is lifting trucks over his head and flying. Haven't we learned that that doesn't work anymore? Sure, in the 60's giving characters super powers was something you got out of the way quickly so you could get to the action, but now, as readers have matured, we want to see the real consequences of power. If is was that easy, Mr. Slott, then everyone would have them.

In fact, Dan Slott just loves giving away super powers. During his ridiculous Spider-Island crossover literally all of New York City was crawling up walls and trowing punches. By making the process too easy you lose the uniqueness and believability of these characters.

Ok, fine, whatever, we got Alpha the fucking kid wonder in the story now. I'll just have to move on and deal with it.

So that's about the whole main issue. Spider-Man tries to take Alpha under his wing because, I don't know, he feels bad about making the kid awesome or something. Then he does a pretty terrible job at keeping the kid on a leash, which leads to no one learning anything. The issue is neither very funny nor emotionally resonating and it isn't hard to see that this was basically an excuse to introduce Alpha for one reason or another.

The art by Humberto Ramos is as good and clean as ever, but I've also just never been a fan of him as a Spider-Man artist. I think the man is talented, but his tell-tale caricatured lines just have no place in a Spider-Man comic book. I've said this before, but Peter Parker in the everyman. He, out of all the heroes of the Marvel Universe, is the one that is constantly the most relatable and down to earth. Why then, must we have both a writer that can't keep the character in a believable scenario for two seconds, and an artist who's style is incredibly cartoony and over the top?

Well, at least we get some beautiful variant covers that showcase the highlights from Spider-Mans five decades of print.

The other two stories in this over-sized issue, written by Dean Haspiel and Joshua Hale Fialkov, are cute and plucky and both end nicely, but ultimately don't really carry any real weight. The Fialkov story in particular may have you d'ahh-ing, but once you have closed the issue you will probably find yourself forgetting them pretty quickly.

So, still go buy it. It's something that, as a product, is just neat to own. Plus, you are going to want to know about Alpha as Slott rolls into issue #700 this December.

Let's just hope the rumors are true and Slott will be stepping down as writer after the New Year.

Comic Book Pick O' the Week!: Spider-Men #4

When I first heard the idea behind the Spider-Men limited series I could just smell gimmick all over it. Bringing the two Spider-Men from separate dimensions (616 Spidey, or real Peter Parker, and the 1610 Ultimate Spidey, or Miles Morales) felt like a cheap ploy to get people to buy books. The kind of "gee-wiz" stories that pitted Superman against Spider-Man in the 1970's. Surely nothing that would have any real consequence on these beloved characters.

Well, boy, was I wrong.

Lets first do a little history lesson on the two Spider-Men.

Peter Parker of Earth 616 is the Peter that we all know and love. Bitten by a radioactive spider, gets awesome powers, Uncle Ben dies, fights crime in spandex. You get the idea. He's the character that for the last 50 years has spanned comic books, television, and movies. He's you're original, and favorite, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man.

However, in the early 2000's writer Brian Michael Bendis was assigned to create a new comic book, set in a completely alternate reality, that brought Peter Parker back to high school and reformulated the Spider-Man mythos for a modern era. What came of that idea was Ultimate Spider-Man, and guess what, it was totally awesome. Bendis not only created a whole new way to look at the wall-crawler, but also reworked just how superhero stories were done. Long over-arching story lines, more realistic and believable heroes and villains, and wonderfully done character development. It was truly the new benchmark.

Then they fucking killed him.

Yeah, they did. And not in the he'll-come-back-in-like-two-issues kind of dead, but dead. Dead dead.

Since in the Ultimate Marvel Universe dead really means dead Peter Parker of 1610 really made the ultimate sacrifice (pun intended). While trying to save Aunt May, Gwen Stacy, and Mary-Jane Watson from the murderous and oh so insane Norman Osborn, Peter Parker laid down his life.

The aftermath was beautiful and tragic in a way only Brian Michael Bendis could do, and it rocked the Ultimate Universe to its very core.

Luck, of course, would have it that another kid, Miles Morales, also gained super cool spider powers and now takes up the mantle as Spider-Man in order to bring even more honor to his legacy.

Get all that? Good. Moving on.

Now in Spider-Men the alive and kicking Peter Parker finds himself transported by Mysterio into the Ultimate Universe where he runs into Miles Morales. Now, as the limited series unfolds, Peter begins to learn more about his counterpart and the sacrifices he made. As they try to find out just what brought Peter over they also begin to chip away at all the tragedy from both sides of the dimensional rift.

What makes issue #4 so spectacular is that after 3 issues as beating around the bush we finally see Peter interact with the still grief stricken Aunt May, Gwen Stacy, and Mary-Jane.

These conversations, while weird on paper, are beautifully written. The concept, while great in previous issues, really begins to pay off here. These aren't easy discussions to have, and for much of the issue these characters don't quite know how to handle seeing loved ones from beyond the grave. They have so much to say but also so much to hide. While Bendis does skirt away from the more destructive realizations, these panels really hit home. He certainly has readers in eager anticipation to see how he will finish up this arc, and how potentially, these characters could interact once again.

Sara Pichelli also lends fantastic artwork to the series as a whole. Bendis went on record saying that he would not do Spider-Men without Pichelli to accompany him, and it turns out he made the right choice. This book relies heavily on the smaller character driven moments, and Pichelli certainly knowns how to deliever. She makes the characters endearing and heart-wrenchingly real while still making them very much animated comic-book entities. Her actions sequences aren't too shabby either, however they are certainly not the highlight.

Now, if you aren't familiar with Ultimate Spider-Man and the legacy Bendis created, then this book isn't going to make a whole lot of sense to you. But, also, on the flip-side, what the hell is wrong with you? Go out and buy some of the trade paperbacks of Bendis's work right this minute. You'll be glad you did.

Then, of course, read Spider-Men, because it's rad.

Undercover Tourist: The Mapparium

If you have never heard of The Mapparium, don't feel bad, because either had I. Mykah had taken a trip there with some friends from home and told me it was a must see.

Yeah, I wasn't going to fall for that. What Mykah "Learning is Fun" Murphy passes for a good time isn't always rootin-tootin, and considering that the Mapparium is basically just a big map I wasn't entirely sold. Turns out, I was wrong, learning can be fun.

It isn't an expensive trip, or a lengthy one, but The Mapparium was certainly worth a look. It's located in the Mary Baker Eddy Library, a big repository for all of Eddy's work, and is literally a three story tall glass globe that you walk into. The best part is you need to walk through the Hall of Ideas, yes, the Hall of Ideas, to get there. Then you just answer a secret riddle and ride a unicorn to get through the Doors of Wonder.

The Mapparium is not a modern map, but rather the same map from from the year it was made, 1935. Apparently, at some point, there were plans to scrap all of the old stained glass in there and update the information, but due mainly to budget reasons it never happened. Now the exhibit stands as a very large and incredibly breakable historic document, as well as a testament to being a cheap bastard.

                                                             Source: Wikipedia

Now, as you can expect, standing in the center of a giant glass sphere also has some cool acoustics. After a short presentation of the map and all of its map-like features, the guide encourages you to try out the different tricks you can do with your voice. That means either standing on the edges and whispering all the way to the other side or standing in the middle and hearing your voice bounce around like the voices in your heard that tell you to burn things.

So go. I wouldn't say go out of your way to see it, but if you are even in the area you should totally swing by. Its like, 5 bucks, and if for nothing else it's kind of like being Professor X and controlling Cerebro in X-Men.

Only, you know, not entirely freaking awesome.

Comic Book Pick O' the Week!: Hawkeye #1

Hawkeye, aka Clint Barton, is a bit of an anomaly in the Marvel Universe. He doesn't have any super powers, he isn't an alien, and he isn't a super-hot chick. By that logic then he shouldn't be much of an interesting comic book superhero. Even though he may hang out with Wolverine and the Hulk he is, for the most part, a pretty average guy. Yeah, sure, he's the "greatest sharp shooter known to man", but he is still in a pretty compromising position when one of those pesky alien invasions pop up, which they always seem to do.

Now, for those in the know, we understand that the opposite is true. Sure, Mr. Barton may not be able to fly or throw a semi-truck into a super-baddie, but he is anything but boring. The man has gone from small-time villain, to Avenger, to even dead for a spell then resurrected. Currently the leader of the New Avengers, Hawkeye has proven time and time again that just because he is normal that in no way means he is average.

With Matt Fraction behind the helm of the Hawk's new ongoing series we are being show just how great this hero can be.

From the very start of the issue we learn quickly that this isn't going to be a conventional super-hero comic book. The opening description of the book is snappy and a bit tongue-in-cheek..

"Clint Barton, a.k.a Hawkeye, became the greatest sharp-shooter known to man. He then joined the Avengers. This is what he does when he's not being an Avenger. That's all you need to know."

We are being told a few things here:
1) If you only know Hawkeye from the new Avengers movie, then don't be afraid to try out this new comic.
2) Matt Fraction is shaping up to have a new and dynamic take on this old character.
3) Your day just got  a whole bunch better.

And your day just got a whole bunch better because this book is awesome, however not in the conventional in-your-face way. It isn't full of explosions or huge action sequences. Instead it shows us a very humanized Clint Barton who desperately tries to do the right thing even when he isn't standing next to Captain America and Iron man. At the start we see a Clint Barton hospitalized and almost completely broken after a hero-ing that goes sour. From there, as he tries to put the pieces of his life back together, we are treated to one of the best stand alone stories I've read in quite some time. Here is a Barton that has real flaws and who also hangs up the suit from time to time, just like everyone else.

With David Aja's art we get an even deeper sense of the book's direction. While the pencils remain sparse they are in no way simple. Aja is able to capture the wide range of emotions that flow from panel to panel, while still focusing in on the humanity and humor of everyday life. I was instantly surprised by the book's look, and found myself going back just to review all of the the beautiful panels and clever cuts. It is a layered beast that allows itself to be not only gritty and tragic but also funny and charming.

So, as you can see, I liked Hawkeye #1. It's doing different things than most superhero stories, and should be recognized for doing something a little ballsy. Matt Fraction's take is an adult and thought provoking adaptation of Hawkeye, and I'm certainly interested. Bring on the next issue!

I'm Getting Some Visitors

Imagine Raymond in high school. Go ahead, don't be shy, because I was quite the scamp. With straight A's, two jobs, and a swoopy haircut that even the Ghost of Justin Beibers Past would mock, believe me, I was cool. That is if "cool" meant being voted president of the concert band and the winner of Best Model UN Delegate, twice. Be careful, this dragon breathes fire.

Well, at least where High-School-Ray lacked in cool he made up for by having some pretty great friends, and luck would have it that two of them are coming up to Boston for a visit.

That's right, Boston, Emily and David are coming to town.

While Emily has visited me a couple of times, tomorrow marks David's first experience in Beantown. By now I thought giving people the grand tour of Boston would be exhausting, but I can't wait to show David around my favorite city. We are going to zoom through the touristy bits, maybe see some museums and what not, while never forgetting to stop for beer breaks. These are crucial. Under a shroud of secrecy, however, I will also be painfully plotting a series of events to make David move to Boston instead of living in stupid smelly Texas. Yeah, don't ask me why he moved there, because I don't have an answer.

I'm not positive why I'm really writing this blog post. At first I was going to share really embarrassing stories about Emily and David, but then I figured that I would probably have my eyes ripped out by David's newly manicured fingernails. Plus, who wants to hear about my friends' underage binge-drinking tour of Northern New York? Even though, you know, they are super-duper funny and usually end up with someone throwing up in a weird place. Ok, maybe they are only funny to us.

Instead I think I'll just talk about how much I love and care about these two wildly attractive individuals.


WHOAH. Sorry guys, the sappy train starts a-movin' here, so hold on tight.

Now as we grow older and we see each other less and less I become ever ever aware of just how much I love them. Sure we can fight and argue, but what good friends don't? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I moved away from home and ventured to Boston, but not seeing these two everyday still makes me sad. While growing up they were there when things were tough, but they were also there when you needed someone to take a shot with you like right now, bitches. So they are family, they are my past, and for most of my adolescence they were the glue that kept me together. I can't wait to have them here together, even if it is for just a short time, so we can all experience Boston together. The hardest part is going to be seeing them leave. So let's go guys, let's make it count.


P.S.- Taking this "no embarrassing stories" high road thing was too tough, so here is an old gem that will never-ever die and I'm pretty sure will haunt David for the rest of his life. Good night.

Nerd Rant: Debris #1 and Just How Awesome It Was

Debris, the new limited series by independent comic publisher Image Comics, caught my eye as it started gaining some pretty significant buzz prior to its release. This new work by Kurtis J. Wiebe, author of Green Wake, was being advertised as a sci-fi fantasy mash-up about a post-apocolyptic earth where ancient spirits live within giant trash monsters.

Wait, what? Well, hell, sign me up.

I had to travel to the ends of the earth to snag myself a copy. Or to two comic shops, whatever. It was sold out at my local store so in the fiery heat of a July afternoon I trudged to the next store to find it. With each sweaty block I got more and more excited about this book, but I had to calm down. I didn't want to get my hopes up too quick and be instantly let down once I opened it.

But, alas, I was not disappointed.

Let's first start off with how freakin' gorgeous this comic is. Riley Rossmo, the artist who worked with Wiebe on Green Wake, really delivers here. His pencils give us dynamic character designs as well as incredibly cinematic action sequences that deserve great attention. Owen Gieni's colors also give the book a lush pastel landscape that allows the art an extra layer of depth. I know this is all hyper-nerdy, and most of you reading are probably couldn't care less, but these two artists really give the book a look and feel all its own. Their work creates a post-apocalyptic world that is both beautiful and haunting at the same time. Giant trash monsters never looked so pretty.

So, yeah, it's pretty, but what about the story, you ask. Well, it's pretty dope, that's what it is. The story follows Maya, a warrior under the tutelage of the village protector Calista, as she works to fight against the creatures that threaten the last village of the human race. One day, while on patrol, Calista and Maya discover that one of the colossals, large robotic creatures that endanger human life, has gotten closer to the village than ever before. After a series of tragic events it becomes Maya's duty to search out a far away mythical land in order to save her village, and in turn save the human race.

Now, I am generalizing here as to not give away the entire story, but let it be known that there is some great stuff in here. After finishing I immediately turned to page one and began to read for a second time. Wiebe is excellent at creating intricate mythos while also giving us a strong female lead that you truly care about. I seriously cant' wait for next month's installment.

Often with limited series I feel that authors have a difficult time with getting the pacing just right. They want to give you most of the information upfront so that you don't stop reading in frustration. The only problem with that is you risk losing most of the tension that comes along with world building. These characters should not have to explain their world to you, because, well, why would they? They live there. So it's the job of both the author and reader to begin to piece together just how this world works. With Debris, you begin to see the outlines of this tragic world and just how it came to be, but also setting up the journey of the heroine, Maya, as she sets out to into the wild to save her people. Also, At the back of the story there exists the sneaking possibility that these colossals may be more than they seem.

I haven't been this excited about an Image series since Scott Snyder's Severed last year. I love that this company really believes in strong stories that would not be given a chance at larger publications. While they may not always strike gold, it is that dedication to experimental ideas that makes them so great. Due to that determination we are rewarded with books like Debris that are so fresh and so new, while still harkening back to the stories that inspired it.

So while this is less of a review and more a of a spewing of love, I still suggest going out and picking it up. The hardest part is going to be waiting for the second installment in August.

Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Ok, I am going to do a review of The Dark Knight Rises, and I am going to try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. It's going to be tough since I like nothing more than talking about comic books and the films that are inspired by them, but I will do my best to not ruin it. It's been years of anticipation after the close of The Dark Knight, and now we finally have Christopher Nolan's finale to his Batman Saga.

For anyone who has been living on a space colony or was in a diabetic coma for the last six years and has not seen either Batman Begins or The Dark Knight I am sad to say that you missed one of the biggest pop culture phenomena of the 21st century. Also, go out and watch them right now. Right this minute. I'm not kidding. Both films, with more emphasis on 2008's The Dark Knight, are shining examples of not only comic book movies, but of cinema as a whole. Christopher Nolan's interpretation of Batman changed the playing field when it came to just what superhero movies could do, and Heath Ledger's interpretation of the Joker is unparalleled.

Most people, however, know this. The Dark Knight only made about a kazillion dollars at the box office and Heath Ledge won a posthumous Academy Award for his role as the Joker.

As you can tell though I have nothing but reverence for Christopher Nolan's Batman flicks. What he did for legitimizing comic book movies was absolutely groundbreaking. That being said, I don't think The Dark Knight Rises is a perfect movie. It's not a bad movie by any means, but perhaps not quite the perfect follow-up we were really hoping for.

But lets start with things that I liked, shall we?

First of all, this film is expertly acted, but with a cast this star-studded I wasn't expecting anything less. The roster on this film has some of the highest paid and most talented actors working in the business today and not one of them falls short. All of the returning actors are just as grounded and fragile as they ever were in the previous two installments. They fit right back into these characters' shoes without hesitation and almost make you forget that it was 3 years go that they last were all together. New members to the cast also hold their weight, with Hathaway standing out particularly. Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Selina Kyle/Catwoman is a fabulous and much more grounded take on the character that makes you forget about the chilling, yet campy, version Michelle Pfeiffer played in Batman Returns. All of the players drive this drama with real force and integrity even when the material sometimes isn't up to their standard.

Also, on a technical level, this film is absolutely gorgeous. From a snow-covered Gotham during the chilling explosion scene to a quiet Anne Hathaway pondering her stolen pearls in the mirror, this film really understands the power behind beautiful shots. This is Christopher Nolan at the top of his game in terms of cinematography and visual images. Although I was not fortunate enough to see the movie in IMAX, Nolan did film a large portion of the film in this difficult-to-use format. When I see it again I will most certainly be buying my IMAX tickets. The scope and visual artistry demands to be seen on as large a screen as possible.

From here on out things begin to take a turn for the worse. While this film no doubt provides an epic and satisfying conclusion to Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, it is perhaps one of the weakest when it comes to coherent plot and believability.

In its ambition to achieve an epic masterpiece the film tends to fall flat as a storytelling device. Where The Dark Knight was a grisly crime drama soaked in noir and dramatic character development, The Dark Knight Rises is easily the most comic-booky and character-light Nolan film to date. While this isn't always a bad thing it does tend to take the film increasingly deeper into movie conventions that Nolan has always been known for avoiding. Certain story lines that we had been waiting so long to see come to fruition seem to have been dusted under the rug, gotten rid of quickly in order to bring in the new threats. However, these bigger and badder problems never seem to have the same weight as the delicate character relationships that had been so painstakingly developed over the last two films. So while the conclusion is satisfying, many of the characters are never given the moments that the films seemed that have been headed in.

The film, at two hours forty-five minutes, also tends to drag a bit. I found myself, despite fighting these feelings for comic book nerd everywhere, rather bored during much of the film. The action set-pieces are phenomenal, but the characters' momentum often felt sluggish as if simply waiting around for the climax of the film. So while some moments were rushed, such as remaining storyline lingering from the last film, others felt far too long without anything too substantial to keep the flow. Due to this you may find yourself noticing plot holes from time to time, something that was nearly non-existant in the precious two incarnations.

What ends up happening to The Dark Knight Rises is what I like to call "The Third Movie Fallout". I was hoping Nolan would be able to avoid it, but like so many before him he falls into several of the same traps. As in Spider-Man 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Back to the Future Part III and countless other trilogy films, the third installment, despite a fantastic second film and buildup, fails to live up that what is expected. Often filmmakers want the third installment to be bigger and more grand than the last, and in that shuffle often lose the heart and intricate filmmaking that made the others great. With The Dark Knight Rises Nolan delivers a clunky action piece that doesn't allow the characters to breath, no matter how talented the actor behind them is.

These flaws are really unfortunate, and for most of the film I didn't want to believe they existed, but by the end the cracks in the surface are apparent. Many of you wont agree with me, but this film has fallen very short of what it could have been. Now like I said earlier, it is by no means a bad film. Sub-par Christopher Nolan work still outshines what most production companies are able to pump out, but it doesn't make it any less disappointing. The third act is great, even with the occasional suspension of disbelief, but to get there is less than exciting.

Ultimately though Nolan's complete Batman package still stands as one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time. Even with its downsides, The Dark Knight Rises will still impress. It is, ultimately, just not as tight and cohesive as Nolan's previous work.

Score 3.5/5