I'm Getting Some Visitors

Imagine Raymond in high school. Go ahead, don't be shy, because I was quite the scamp. With straight A's, two jobs, and a swoopy haircut that even the Ghost of Justin Beibers Past would mock, believe me, I was cool. That is if "cool" meant being voted president of the concert band and the winner of Best Model UN Delegate, twice. Be careful, this dragon breathes fire.

Well, at least where High-School-Ray lacked in cool he made up for by having some pretty great friends, and luck would have it that two of them are coming up to Boston for a visit.

That's right, Boston, Emily and David are coming to town.

While Emily has visited me a couple of times, tomorrow marks David's first experience in Beantown. By now I thought giving people the grand tour of Boston would be exhausting, but I can't wait to show David around my favorite city. We are going to zoom through the touristy bits, maybe see some museums and what not, while never forgetting to stop for beer breaks. These are crucial. Under a shroud of secrecy, however, I will also be painfully plotting a series of events to make David move to Boston instead of living in stupid smelly Texas. Yeah, don't ask me why he moved there, because I don't have an answer.

I'm not positive why I'm really writing this blog post. At first I was going to share really embarrassing stories about Emily and David, but then I figured that I would probably have my eyes ripped out by David's newly manicured fingernails. Plus, who wants to hear about my friends' underage binge-drinking tour of Northern New York? Even though, you know, they are super-duper funny and usually end up with someone throwing up in a weird place. Ok, maybe they are only funny to us.

Instead I think I'll just talk about how much I love and care about these two wildly attractive individuals.


WHOAH. Sorry guys, the sappy train starts a-movin' here, so hold on tight.

Now as we grow older and we see each other less and less I become ever ever aware of just how much I love them. Sure we can fight and argue, but what good friends don't? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I moved away from home and ventured to Boston, but not seeing these two everyday still makes me sad. While growing up they were there when things were tough, but they were also there when you needed someone to take a shot with you like right now, bitches. So they are family, they are my past, and for most of my adolescence they were the glue that kept me together. I can't wait to have them here together, even if it is for just a short time, so we can all experience Boston together. The hardest part is going to be seeing them leave. So let's go guys, let's make it count.


P.S.- Taking this "no embarrassing stories" high road thing was too tough, so here is an old gem that will never-ever die and I'm pretty sure will haunt David for the rest of his life. Good night.

Nerd Rant: Debris #1 and Just How Awesome It Was

Debris, the new limited series by independent comic publisher Image Comics, caught my eye as it started gaining some pretty significant buzz prior to its release. This new work by Kurtis J. Wiebe, author of Green Wake, was being advertised as a sci-fi fantasy mash-up about a post-apocolyptic earth where ancient spirits live within giant trash monsters.

Wait, what? Well, hell, sign me up.

I had to travel to the ends of the earth to snag myself a copy. Or to two comic shops, whatever. It was sold out at my local store so in the fiery heat of a July afternoon I trudged to the next store to find it. With each sweaty block I got more and more excited about this book, but I had to calm down. I didn't want to get my hopes up too quick and be instantly let down once I opened it.

But, alas, I was not disappointed.

Let's first start off with how freakin' gorgeous this comic is. Riley Rossmo, the artist who worked with Wiebe on Green Wake, really delivers here. His pencils give us dynamic character designs as well as incredibly cinematic action sequences that deserve great attention. Owen Gieni's colors also give the book a lush pastel landscape that allows the art an extra layer of depth. I know this is all hyper-nerdy, and most of you reading are probably couldn't care less, but these two artists really give the book a look and feel all its own. Their work creates a post-apocalyptic world that is both beautiful and haunting at the same time. Giant trash monsters never looked so pretty.

So, yeah, it's pretty, but what about the story, you ask. Well, it's pretty dope, that's what it is. The story follows Maya, a warrior under the tutelage of the village protector Calista, as she works to fight against the creatures that threaten the last village of the human race. One day, while on patrol, Calista and Maya discover that one of the colossals, large robotic creatures that endanger human life, has gotten closer to the village than ever before. After a series of tragic events it becomes Maya's duty to search out a far away mythical land in order to save her village, and in turn save the human race.

Now, I am generalizing here as to not give away the entire story, but let it be known that there is some great stuff in here. After finishing I immediately turned to page one and began to read for a second time. Wiebe is excellent at creating intricate mythos while also giving us a strong female lead that you truly care about. I seriously cant' wait for next month's installment.

Often with limited series I feel that authors have a difficult time with getting the pacing just right. They want to give you most of the information upfront so that you don't stop reading in frustration. The only problem with that is you risk losing most of the tension that comes along with world building. These characters should not have to explain their world to you, because, well, why would they? They live there. So it's the job of both the author and reader to begin to piece together just how this world works. With Debris, you begin to see the outlines of this tragic world and just how it came to be, but also setting up the journey of the heroine, Maya, as she sets out to into the wild to save her people. Also, At the back of the story there exists the sneaking possibility that these colossals may be more than they seem.

I haven't been this excited about an Image series since Scott Snyder's Severed last year. I love that this company really believes in strong stories that would not be given a chance at larger publications. While they may not always strike gold, it is that dedication to experimental ideas that makes them so great. Due to that determination we are rewarded with books like Debris that are so fresh and so new, while still harkening back to the stories that inspired it.

So while this is less of a review and more a of a spewing of love, I still suggest going out and picking it up. The hardest part is going to be waiting for the second installment in August.

Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Ok, I am going to do a review of The Dark Knight Rises, and I am going to try to keep it as spoiler free as possible. It's going to be tough since I like nothing more than talking about comic books and the films that are inspired by them, but I will do my best to not ruin it. It's been years of anticipation after the close of The Dark Knight, and now we finally have Christopher Nolan's finale to his Batman Saga.

For anyone who has been living on a space colony or was in a diabetic coma for the last six years and has not seen either Batman Begins or The Dark Knight I am sad to say that you missed one of the biggest pop culture phenomena of the 21st century. Also, go out and watch them right now. Right this minute. I'm not kidding. Both films, with more emphasis on 2008's The Dark Knight, are shining examples of not only comic book movies, but of cinema as a whole. Christopher Nolan's interpretation of Batman changed the playing field when it came to just what superhero movies could do, and Heath Ledger's interpretation of the Joker is unparalleled.

Most people, however, know this. The Dark Knight only made about a kazillion dollars at the box office and Heath Ledge won a posthumous Academy Award for his role as the Joker.

As you can tell though I have nothing but reverence for Christopher Nolan's Batman flicks. What he did for legitimizing comic book movies was absolutely groundbreaking. That being said, I don't think The Dark Knight Rises is a perfect movie. It's not a bad movie by any means, but perhaps not quite the perfect follow-up we were really hoping for.

But lets start with things that I liked, shall we?

First of all, this film is expertly acted, but with a cast this star-studded I wasn't expecting anything less. The roster on this film has some of the highest paid and most talented actors working in the business today and not one of them falls short. All of the returning actors are just as grounded and fragile as they ever were in the previous two installments. They fit right back into these characters' shoes without hesitation and almost make you forget that it was 3 years go that they last were all together. New members to the cast also hold their weight, with Hathaway standing out particularly. Anne Hathaway's portrayal of Selina Kyle/Catwoman is a fabulous and much more grounded take on the character that makes you forget about the chilling, yet campy, version Michelle Pfeiffer played in Batman Returns. All of the players drive this drama with real force and integrity even when the material sometimes isn't up to their standard.

Also, on a technical level, this film is absolutely gorgeous. From a snow-covered Gotham during the chilling explosion scene to a quiet Anne Hathaway pondering her stolen pearls in the mirror, this film really understands the power behind beautiful shots. This is Christopher Nolan at the top of his game in terms of cinematography and visual images. Although I was not fortunate enough to see the movie in IMAX, Nolan did film a large portion of the film in this difficult-to-use format. When I see it again I will most certainly be buying my IMAX tickets. The scope and visual artistry demands to be seen on as large a screen as possible.

From here on out things begin to take a turn for the worse. While this film no doubt provides an epic and satisfying conclusion to Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, it is perhaps one of the weakest when it comes to coherent plot and believability.

In its ambition to achieve an epic masterpiece the film tends to fall flat as a storytelling device. Where The Dark Knight was a grisly crime drama soaked in noir and dramatic character development, The Dark Knight Rises is easily the most comic-booky and character-light Nolan film to date. While this isn't always a bad thing it does tend to take the film increasingly deeper into movie conventions that Nolan has always been known for avoiding. Certain story lines that we had been waiting so long to see come to fruition seem to have been dusted under the rug, gotten rid of quickly in order to bring in the new threats. However, these bigger and badder problems never seem to have the same weight as the delicate character relationships that had been so painstakingly developed over the last two films. So while the conclusion is satisfying, many of the characters are never given the moments that the films seemed that have been headed in.

The film, at two hours forty-five minutes, also tends to drag a bit. I found myself, despite fighting these feelings for comic book nerd everywhere, rather bored during much of the film. The action set-pieces are phenomenal, but the characters' momentum often felt sluggish as if simply waiting around for the climax of the film. So while some moments were rushed, such as remaining storyline lingering from the last film, others felt far too long without anything too substantial to keep the flow. Due to this you may find yourself noticing plot holes from time to time, something that was nearly non-existant in the precious two incarnations.

What ends up happening to The Dark Knight Rises is what I like to call "The Third Movie Fallout". I was hoping Nolan would be able to avoid it, but like so many before him he falls into several of the same traps. As in Spider-Man 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Back to the Future Part III and countless other trilogy films, the third installment, despite a fantastic second film and buildup, fails to live up that what is expected. Often filmmakers want the third installment to be bigger and more grand than the last, and in that shuffle often lose the heart and intricate filmmaking that made the others great. With The Dark Knight Rises Nolan delivers a clunky action piece that doesn't allow the characters to breath, no matter how talented the actor behind them is.

These flaws are really unfortunate, and for most of the film I didn't want to believe they existed, but by the end the cracks in the surface are apparent. Many of you wont agree with me, but this film has fallen very short of what it could have been. Now like I said earlier, it is by no means a bad film. Sub-par Christopher Nolan work still outshines what most production companies are able to pump out, but it doesn't make it any less disappointing. The third act is great, even with the occasional suspension of disbelief, but to get there is less than exciting.

Ultimately though Nolan's complete Batman package still stands as one of the greatest movie trilogies of all time. Even with its downsides, The Dark Knight Rises will still impress. It is, ultimately, just not as tight and cohesive as Nolan's previous work.

Score 3.5/5

Nerd Rant: My Love/Hate (But Mostly Love) Letter to Pixar

Let it be said that I love Pixar Animation Studios. Ever since I was a wee lad I, among countless others, have found something incredibly special and endearing in the movies produced by these film makers. At the age of four, after I first saw Toy Story, I was absolutely smitten. I would sit in front my my parent's television set for hours and watch that same movie over and over, much to the annoyance of my family. Eventually I would sit with all of my Pixar licensed Toy Story dolls and act out the movie along with them, anticipating every move made and every word said by the characters. This movie was phenomenal, even as a child I understood that, but there was something much more than to it than that. Pixar had a certain magic that was new and exciting to me, and my childhood self couldn't get enough.

But the love didn't end there.

My first Woody and Buzz Lightyear toys, battle wounds and all. 

Today, as an adult, I recognize Pixar as one of the main reasons I have decided to go into the business of telling stories. The entire concept can be intensely terrifying because, at the end of the day, it really is a business. Despite how noble an artist's ambitions are their vision can still be squashed by a company's need and desire to make money. It's hard to get published, produced, or even be acknowledged in a creative field if your idea isn't entirely marketable. Pixar, however, has proven that you can make money but also cling onto your creative integrity to deliver real, honest to God, animation art-pieces.

When they could have been making films about princesses in distress or a collection of other children's story cliches, they decided to write movies about robots in love, rats who wanted to be chefs, and elderly widowers who go on amazing adventures. They didn't care if the idea was strange because they knew deep down that at the center of what made that company great was their ability to tell an amazing story. No matter how weird the concept was they were always able to discuss the beauty and tragedy that is real life through fantastic animation.

Up: An idea so weird on paper that I'm surprised it was ever made at all.

So, instead of sinking under the weight from Toy Story's immense success, Pixar rose to the challenge they created for themselves to push the boundaries of animation further and deliver round after round of fantastic films. They broke new ground time and again with films for both children and adults that were funny, dark, and deceptively challenging. It didn't hurt that they were, and still are, the pioneers of computer animation. To this day when film-goers think they've seen the last progression of animation Pixar delivers something even more jaw-droppingly beautiful than the last.

For Pixar the art of film and story went hand in hand. They pushed themselves to expand not only their technical visual prowess, but also their ability to dive deeper into more delicate and moving stories, forming a beautiful marriage of the two. They changed the face of children's cinema forever, and I applaud them for it.

That being said, in recent years Pixar has begun to fall from grace.

I'm not happy about it, but it's true. I can no longer stand and pretend that they haven't started to slip with their last couple of outings. While I am not a huge fan of their 2006 film Cars, I can at least appreciate it for its humor, charm, and beautiful animation. However, I will forever be convinced that the sequel, Cars 2, was merely a cash in film to sell more Cars toys and other merchandise. It was not a good movie. In fact, it was a downright bad movie. On the day of its release the Pixar fan in me wept for the company, but I had high hopes. Everyone is allowed to falter, and their next film Brave was bound to be fantastic. It was to be the company's first fairy tale and I. Was. Stoked.

But guess what, Brave was a disappointment. While not nearly the train wreck that Cars 2 was, it certainly didn't live up to the prestige of the Pixar name. It did offer up a ferociously independent female lead, a first for Pixar, and an interesting mother/daughter relationship, but by the end of the film the ambition of the movie didn't quite match up to the final product. Pixar had everything there to make a great film, but the plot and themes seemed to miss the mark. What initially appeared to be a dark fairy tale about fate, destiny, and family ended up being an almost silly romp amongst a beautifully animated Scotland.

It almost seems like Pixar was afraid to fire the trigger and enter dark territory.

But dark territory is what they are known for. They are known for taking risks and giving their viewers the benefit of the doubt that they will be ready for heavy children's film material, even if most of their viewers are still in elementary school. Pixar has always been a team that understands that children, while young, are not dumb. So while many kids will go see Brave and enjoy it, the film ultimately will not have the kind of staying power that the company's more thought provoking productions do. They played it safe this time and lost something in the shuffle that always made them special.

What I hope for Pixar is that they begin to claim what's theirs again. That they remember why they began making films in the first place and decide whether or not they will be the film makers that make kids laugh but also take home an armful of Oscars at the Academy Awards, or the film makers that create only decent kind's flicks that lack the soul and vision that they once had.

Mostly, I want them to make children think again. Make them wonder again. I would like to believe that one day I will take my future child to see a Pixar movie and have him or her asking me questions afterwords, because that's what real art does. It forces its audience to question what they previously thought true. Pixar once had the power to do that for both children and adults alike, and I want dearly for them to capture it again. I want them to live up to the standard they sent for themselves and their contemporaries with their very first film. I want them to remind me of the magic they once had.

I believe in you, Pixar. Do me proud.

Undercover Tourist: Boston Duck Tour

So I've done it, the one thing in Boston I always said I wouldn't do: a Duck Tour. After two years of forbidding my parents to take one, some serious eye-rolling, and seething bitter hatred, I finally swallowed my pride and welcomed the Duck into my life.

It was Mykah's idea to take the tour. This weekend two more of her friends from Super Smart Kid Math Camp for Winners came up to visit Boston. She really wanted to show them around town the quickest way possible, and what better way to do that than to strap yourself into a five-ton piece of iron and float down the Charles River? So due to my new living-life-to-the-fullest , or whatever, attitude I bought a ticket to the most touristy thing to do in all of New England.

And you know what, it wasn't half bad.

For those who don't know what a Duck Boat Tour is, let me tell you. It's a tour company that fills old WWII land and sea vehicles with tourists and squeezes  through the narrow streets of Boston, giving history facts along the way while also having a complete disregard for traffic safety. Seriously, I'm probably going to die by getting run over by one of these contraptions. My last dying breath will be accompanied by midwestern families quacking at my limp body. Because they make the riders quack. Really. I'm not kidding.

Anyway, as Mykah informed me at the start of our trip, all of the tour guides (or conducktors...) have a schtick that they play off during the 80 minute romp over Boston. Our guide was apparently an alligator hunter from the bayou. Don't ask me why. However, for a middle aged man who carried around a stuffed gator he knew a lot about Boston.

In fact, he knows a LOT about Boston. Throughout the tour I kept thinking to myself, "hmm, I didn't know that.", or "wow, really?". For as much as a resisted going on this tour, I certainly learned a lot about the place I've been living in for the last two years. And even though he did take us through places I frequent almost every day, he still ventured into parts of the city that I've never even seen. The further along the trip we got the more I began to really like this tour. It's totally a solid tour, even if they are slightly ridiculous.

What I really wish is that I had gone on a Duck Tour earlier. Not even just a Duck Tour, but a tour of Boston in general. I should have taken one prior to moving into the city, but I was way too cool for that, wasn't I? Even though I still think this is a city best viewed on foot, it would have been nice to get a taste of what the city has to offer before stumbling through it blindfolded. It probably would have taken me less time to figure my way around and would have made me more comfortable to explore farther around the city. Alas, I learned my lesson a bit too late.

What's also cool about this particular tour is that, due to the vehicles' land and water capabilities, you get to scoot around the charles river for about 20 minutes. It isn't overly informative, but you do get a pretty view of the Back Bay from your window. Plus, volunteers get to go up and steer the Duck Boat. A little girl almost crashed us into the bridge, if you were wondering.

It's a fun hour and a half, and certainly something worth checking out. Now, that being said, if there hadn't been people fresh to Boston in town I probably would never have taken this tour, but I'm glad I did. It's nice to be reminded just how beautiful and history-rich the city of Boston is. It's my home and I'm glad that I've started taking advantage of that. If a Duck Tour can surprise me, I wonder what else this city has up her sleeve.

Restaurant Review: The Abby

My lunch at The Abby was not planned. See, I thought I had made my eye doctor appointment for the fourth of July, but of course I hadn't. How silly of me, nothing is open on the day America won their independence from over priced tea--or whatever. So even though my quest for eye health was ill-fated, I still was able to pop in enjoy a nice lunch at The Abby with Kayla.

                                                                                                                                                       Source: Boston Burger Blog

The first thing we noticed about The Abby was just how adorable it is. Located right in Washington Sq., this little place packs a wallop. With big windows that let in beautiful natural light and a quaint little open kitchen, the interior of the restaurant is instantly inviting. The service was also very friendly. Even though our server was obviously busy she never once neglected us of feared away from small chit chat. Everything about this place just screamed inviting.

The lunch menu, while slightly limited, had a decent selection of of both lunch and brunch options. Kayla and I both enjoyed the falafel wrap, which was delicious and truly one of the better vegetarian options I've seen offered at a small place like this.

It was nice to walk in and not have to order just a salad or a half-assed vegetarian version of another menu item. We were a little disappointed by the lack of veggie options on the menu, but at least what they offered was a pleasant surprise.

Above: Kayla, pleasantly surprised. 

The dinner options fare much better when it comes to variety. There are several vegetarian options as well as fish and other assorted meats that just seem off the chain. Of course, I can't judge without trying them, so I guess I am just forced to go back and try their roasted cod with potato scallion pancake and shallot cream sauce. Kind of driving me crazy just thinking about it. The Abby also offers smaller dishes for those who aren't as hungry, or just want a snack with a beer. 


Oh yeah, that's right, the beer list. The glorious, glorious beer list. 


The beer selection is another area where The Abby really shines. Let me tell you, these guys aren't messing around. With a wide selection of local, international and domestic beers on both bottle and draft you can tell that The Abby really enjoys their craft beers. Honestly, for being in Brookline, it is one of the better places in Boston to enjoy a local beer that isn't just a Sam Adams. A lot of other restaurants could really learn from The Abby's example.    


So with great food, friendly service, a lovely atmosphere, and a beer list that will take you a good long while to drink through, The Abby really deserves your attention. If you live in the area, or even if it's a bit of a trek, I suggest trying it out. 

Movie Review: The Amazing Spider-Man

I originally wrote this for Atlas, a magazine publication at Emerson college. Check us out here!

Ok, so before I can start reviewing Marc Webb’s new film The Amazing Spider-Man, I must first mention what is in the back of movie goers minds everywhere: Sam Rami’s 2002 film Spider-Man.

Now, as most of you know, this summer’s Spidey flick is a reboot of the fabulously successful Sony Pictures franchise. Audiences are getting retold the origin story of how young Peter Parker took to swinging around Manhattan in a tight red and blue suit, but with an added spin revolving around the mysterious disappearance of Peter’s parents. What has some viewers and critics worried is seeing the same movie that Sam Rami’s directed a decade ago; that this film is simply an attempt to cash-in on the previous success of the franchise.

I’m here to squash those fears.

Sure, in order for this to be a successful reboot there are several elements of the Sam Rami film, as well as integral story elements to the Spider-Man mythos, that must be retold in this summer’s blockbuster. That being said, this is nowhere near the same film you saw in 2002. Sam Rami’s direction, while great and notable for bringing superhero movies back into vogue, had a very distinct style reminiscent of early Spider-Man comic books. It was a wide-eyed and colorful interpretation of what made the early comics great. Full of adventure, fun, and heart, the first Spider-Man film, as well as its sequels, was a motion picture piece of pop art.

In The Amazing Spider-Man Marc Webb works hard to find a more realistic and subtle approach to the 

classic tale.

The film opens with young Peter Parker playing a game of hide-and-go seek. Suddenly calamity strikes and Peter’s parents are forced to skip town, leaving the young boy in the care of his living Uncle Ben and Aunt May. Zoom forward a decade and we see Peter Parker, all grown up, in high school representing the noble yet ignored social outcast. In the quest to find out more about his parent’s mysterious disappearance and death Peter must track down Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans), the scientist who worked hand in hand with his father. Then—whoopsies--after snooping around the secret Oscorp lab Peter is bitten by a super powered spider and gains awesome powers. During Peter’s ever-increasing spout of self-discovery and burgeoning work with Connors, tragedy strikes when his Uncle Ben is shot and murdered. A guilt ridden, and also super-powered, Peter recklessly takes up a crime fighting persona to find his Uncle’s killer. At the same time his work with Connors takes a new and terrifying leap forward.

But you know that already, don’t you? You know the story. You got the gist. Why should you go see this movie? Well, first lets start off with the performances. This movie is just chalk-full of talent. Andrew Garfield brings a distinct lovability to Peter Parker, whose character has been given a much needed 21^st century personality lift. While Toby Maguire’s Peter Parker had a certain undeniable charm, Garfield injects the role with all of the wit and tragedy that the character has been known for during its last five decades in print. While already a celebrated actor, Garfield lends so much to the character of Peter Parker, the sad and lonely teenager that we all know, that must stand up when weaker men fall. Garfield constantly reminds viewers that Peter is not a saint, but human.

Emma Stone, who plays the beautiful and intelligent Gwen Stacy, is not only incredibly talented but also too damn cute to ignore. She is neither a femme fatale nor a damsel in distress, but rather the bright and self-sufficient woman the character has always been. With Stone in the role of Peter Parker’s first love she brings all of these elements to the table and more. The two together bring intense chemistry that will leave you smiling, or crying, in all of the right moments. These kids just click.

In fact, all of the performances are strong across the board. While it is easy for an actor to bring comic book style camp to a role, all of those attached to this film really bring their A-game. They destroy preconceived notions of what a “comic book movie” is and deliver that which is at the heart and sole of superhero stories: humanity.

Marc Webb’s direction also soars, well, for the most part. It should come to no surprise that Marc Webb was also the director on 500 Days of Summer, and brings here his expertise on indie dramedies to slow down the pace and allow for a deep study on these iconic characters. Marc Webb has something that Sam Rami never had and that’s the promise of a sequel. Rami’s first Spider-Man movie suffered from existing within a large time frame. You see Peter become super, make friends, graduate high school, attend college, and eventually defeat the bad guy all in one movie. Rami never knew he was going to get a sequel. He didn’t have the luxury to slow the hell down. In Webb’s film this isn’t an issue. It is apparent that Webb, as well as screenwriter James Vanderbilt, really wanted to focus in on the characters as ordinary people first, establish who they are, then really throw some cool stuff at them. Because of this, viewers are allowed to see a film interpretation of more modern comic book storytelling ala Brian Michael Bendis or J. Michael Straczynski. It is a more mature, subtler, and ultimately more moving character piece than most superhero movies, nay most movies, try to be.

My only argument here would be that perhaps Webb’s strong suit isn’t directing action scenes. With the exception of the stunning climax, most of the action scenes lack the tension that should exist in this sort of movie. Spider-Man moves with all of the grace and strength you would expect him to, but nothing ever quite matches up to the Time Square scene in Spider-Man or the astounding elevated train sequence in Spider-Man 2. However, Webb does still handle the action with style, infusing and equal amount of creativity, humor, and thrill into these scenes.  

So, while there may be some similarities to the Spider-Man movie you saw a decade ago, there is nothing to fear. Under the care of a delicate creative team and stellar cast we are introduced to a new kind of Spider-Man movie and the anticipation of a promising franchise. One that opts for smaller moments and relationship building set in front of a large action set piece. While Rami’s Spider-movies really taught us now remarkable people can be ordinary, Webb’s film teaches us how ordinary people can be amazing.

Score: 4.5/5

Restaurant Review: Trattoria on Newbury

I like trying out new restaurants, I really do. When those little hops open and have yet to build a strong clientele base I just want to pick them up and hug them like a lost puppy. However, the fact remains that not yet having a Yelp page is terrifying. Terrifying. 


So be it an adventurous spirit, or lack of motivation to keep walking down Newbury Street on a hot day, Renee and I decided to try out Trattoria on Newbury. 

It started out just fine, with a cute little patio and a polite hostess, but it all went downhill from there. The service was pretty friendly, but slow paced. We also had this little old man refilling our half-empty water glasses every 15 seconds. He just kind of moped around the patio like a middle aged Igor at a mad scientists lab. Creepy, but at least he was helpful and we were certainly hydrated.


The wine and beer list was limited to only a few choices so we stuck with our water and decided to start with a Cesar salad. Before we placed the order, however, Renee asked the waitress if there were anchovies in the salad dressing.


"I don't know," said the waitress, "the dressing isn't home made."


Ok, so I'm no food snob, but when you have real estate on one of the busiest streets in Boston the least you can do is not give me the equivalent to going to the salad bar at the Piggly Wiggly. Despite this we decided to order the salad anyway. What we were delivered was a sad looking batch of romaine lettuce, croutons, and parmesan cheese thrown together on a plate. These three ingredients does not a Cesar salad make, and for a slightly higher price point it was incredibly dissapoiting. 


For the entree all we wanted was to split a sandwich. So they didn't get salad quite right, no big deal. A place like this must totally have a bomb sandwich, right? 


Not really.


Not only did we have to wait almost a half hour for an eggplant parmesan sandwich, but when it was served to us it was powerfully average. It sat alone on a big white plate with no sides to speak of and lacked any sort of originality. Easily thrown together at home.


So, while the staff was kind and easy to talk to, the food was nothing special. I could even forgive the restaurant if it was just a quick place to grab a bite in between shopping binges, but alas, it is not. There are just too many better restaurants within a short walk of this place to recommend Trattoria. 

Deal of the Day: New Bag

So while this may have been yet another flimsy excuse to go shopping, I really did need a new bag. Now, I'm not saying that the gym bag I got free at Aeropostale for buying enough graphic tees when I was in the 7th grade hasn't been a loyal shoulder companion, but it was time for an upgrade. Plus, the side pocket is so ripped and frayed that every time I try to close it the blue plastic-y threads get caught in the zipper. Classy.

So, because I go to work, the gym, and other various places where people can actually see me with this bag I hit the 4th of July sales on Newbury Street to find its replacement.

It took me awhile, but nestled in the corner of Zara during their everything we sell is on sale sale was this beautiful bag. I knew I wanted it, but my wallet has been feeling light. What was I thinking? I can't afford a bag. I can't afford anything right now. Well lets just look at the price...OH SNAP IT'S HALF OFF.

And, it is the same size as my last bag. It was so perfect that I basically ran to the register.

I mean, after trying on a few things. And then also buying a new pair of shorts. I am a weak man.

Boston Street Sighting: Snakes in a Restaurant

Ok, maybe it's not nearly as scary or as campy as the title sounds, but it still totally happened.

I was sitting at Scoozi, minding my own business, eating a roasted eggplant...thing (which was delicious, you should totally try it)...when a woman asks me if I can move the empty chair next to me.

"Do you mind if I move this chair? I need to set my snakes down on something."

Her snakes. Two of them. Just tucked away all willy-nilly in two plastic Ziplock boxes.

I stared at them for a moment with my eyes far wider than they would ever be in a snake-less eating establishment, then told her it was ok. I did, however, make my voice go all high and squeaky just so she knew just how not ok this was, and to, of course, to assert my masculinity.

Wait. Hold up. Just a minute. I was overreacting. This wasn't weird. This was fucking awesome. Quite possibly the the most fucking awesome thing I had seen in some time. This chick had two snakes that she carried around with her to go wine and dine. Granted, it wasn't like she was Britney Spears-ing it all down Newbury Street, but she did still have two sizable snakes just hanging around with her.

Granted, they were her boyfriend's, and granted, she was taking them to the vet, but the lady was still basically a Sri Lankan snake charmer in my eyes.

Turns out, snake owners are not all nefarious 13 year old boys who like that feed defenseless rodents to their insatiable killing machines. Some of them are pretty cool. And some of them even get Salad Nicois at Scoozi.

Movie Review: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Ok, so lets start out by talking about the novel, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, by Seth Grahame-Smith. 

I urge all of you to go out and read it. 

Honestly. You may not believe me, but it is an intelligent genre mash-up that lends itself to an incredibly gripping and original character driven story.  Also, it is fantastically researched and shockingly accurate. A lot of the fun of the book comes from trying to figure out just what is reality and what is fantasy. On several occasions I began to forget that Honest Abe didn't actually fight creatures of the night, and in my delusion I loved every minute of it. 

But we aren't here to talk about the book, now are we. No no, we are here to discuss the film adaptation directed by Timur Bekmambetov and starring Benjamin Walker as the titular president. 

I urge all of you to avoid it like the plague.

"But Raymond", you say, "Seth Grahame-Smith is the screen writer and Timur Bekmambetov has given us several visually interesting movies. What could go wrong?"

Apparently everything.

The film follows Abraham Lincoln, the man on the five dollar bill, the man who ended slaver in the United States, from childhood to his famous and well documented presidency. However, what you may not know, is that the man was also one of the world's greatest hunter of vampires, a league of creatures that once held a terrible grip on the United States. After a vampire murders his mother, young Abe takes up the mantle to kill every blood-sucker in the Union. As his political life develops and the civil war looms, Abe's connection to vampires begins to have an ever more important and terrifying connection. 

From the start of the movie the story we grew to begrudgingly love is stripped away for a much more streamlined, however bland, recount of Lincoln's viscous hunt for vampires. Gone is the deep character development of Abraham Lincoln as his blood lust leads to an ever increasingly tragic life. Gone is the moving friendship dynamic between Abe and Henry, a benevolent and patient vampire teacher who suability pushes Abraham towards far greater aspirations. Gone is historical accuracy that drives you deeper into the fantastical world. Gone, basically, is everything that once made the concept fun, smart, and scary. 

What we are left with is a movie that tries to be dark, tries to be gritty, tries to have all the things the book has but fails. Hard. At a certain point in the film the rest of audience and myself began to realize that this movie was a complete joke. However, unfortunately, the film itself never realizes this, instead turing into an over dramatic half-baked horror fantasy that just happens to have some historical names in it. 

Entire rules of physics are destroyed, Abraham Lincoln's actual life story is pissed all over, and all of the terror and beautiful supernatural metaphors are gone. What is left is 105 minutes of your life that you will never get back. Even if this was just a really loose interpretation of the book I could forgive its downfalls if the movie at least had a working story, but it doesn't. Instead, the director just fills in the holes of the plot with nameless Femme Fatales and bad, cartoony, CGI. 

Above: Bad, cartoony, CGI. 

Unfortunately, the cast isn't able to save this skeleton of a story. Most of them seem slightly confused as to why exactly they are there, and the ones who feel confident about there roles are simply trying too hard. Due to this rarely does any real emotion come across on the screen. The highs are Brady Bunch and the lows are As the World Turns without any real room for any middle ground. 

I suppose it wasn't all bad though. For starters, the movie is fucking beautiful. Even with all of the annoying slowed down action sequences the film never quits with its brilliantly designed set pieces, gorgeous swooping camera shots, and larger than life costumes. Bekmambetov just bleeds style, and with Vampire Hunter it shows. However, this style does begin to get in the way of itself, especially during the larger action sequences. They may be beautiful, but for the most part they are unnecessary and far too lengthy. It was also pretty funny, but not for any of the reasons a movie should be funny.

Also, Benjamin Walker looks weirdly like Abraham Lincoln. Still don't know if that's just good make-up or the greatest doppelgänger ever. Whatever, I already don't care. 

Umm, and other goods things...well, the actors are pretty, and we get to see a whole lot of them half-naked. So there's something.

Once the credits began to roll I was left a angry. Not simply because the source material was raped, because that's usually something I can forgive, but because even talented people can still make something that almost hurts to watch. If you absolutely need to see it, please be drunk while doing so. I wish I had been. Then, after the torture has ceased, kill the movie with either fire, beheading, or a stake to the heart. 

Score: 1/5

Hey guess what. I'm starting a blog.

I don't really know why I haven't ever started one in the past. Sure, I've taken stabs at it. I've blogged about my semester abroad (offtonetherland.blogspot.com), and I use tumblr (thedanktitties.tumblr.com), but lets be real, that last one is basically just me re-blogging photos of Pixar movies and Zac Efron. That doesn't really count as a blog, nor does it truly give me a space to write freely about the things I love. So, as July 2012 opens, I have started a new venture, and with that comes some serious changes in my life. New month. New Things.

1) Starting a real, honest to Moses, diet and workout plan.
When I workout I feel better about myself. I mean, everyone tells you that, but you don't believe them until you actual do it. Plus, if I don't feel good about myself, I don't really think that anything else good can come from my life. Sure, I think I would rather light myself on fire than wake up an hour early and go for a run, but sacrifices will have to be made. Good-bye long, over slept nights. Say hello to the Raymond who gets his ass out of bed and gets active again.

2) Start writing about things I love.
Be it for Atlas Magazine (http://atlasmagblog.blogspot.com), this blog, or myself I should remember to write about the things in life that give me the most joy. Friends, family, Boston, comics, movies, clothes. I think the reason I have felt so creatively stagnant is because I let myself get that way. I live in a city full of beautiful buildings and beautiful people. There is no reason why I can't soak it all up and really experience this lifestyle. That brings me to my last point...

3) Start exploring Boston more.
I need to journal, take pictures, blog about it. This is a city teeming with life, art, and culture, so how can I continue to watch it evolve and grow beyond me? Well, I won't anymore. That's that. Even if no one but my Mom and 12th grade English teacher read this blog I don't care. But, you know, hopefully someone else will read it.

So here we go, Boston Ma. Here we go, internet. This should be fun.